The Universe According to Me

Questions

2007-04-12T08:55:00.000+02:00

Hey its quite funny looking back at my questions from last year. Some of them remain and some of them have changed.
My questions/challenges for now are:

Prayer prayer prayer how to pray. It's on my heart
The secret me. The battle between the New and the old. Who am I when no-one is looking? I had a dream last night that highlighted two of my current weaknesses.
Faith when the "flesh" trembles.. like Habakkuk. Read the book of Habakkuk, its about 3 pgs long.

Habakkuk:

First complaint: God, my nation isnt worshipping you, why dont you do something about it and send revival
Gods answer: I am going to send the Babylonians to wipe Israel out
2nd complaint: how can you use such a godless nation to wipe out Israel - they are even worse than we are?
Gods answer: They will get their reward in the end for the way they live. I will bring disaster on them too. (Note no answer about how a Holy God uses unholy instruments to bring about his purposes, just an assurance that he will do justly when he judges the nations)
Then Habakkuk understands. Though we will be conquered and it will be terrible (and it was, Hab prophesied about Daniels times) there will be a remnant that will live.
Habakkuk is terrified (trembles) but can declare that even though there be no food etc anywhere his joy and strength are in the Lord. And he was really facing war and famine, not like me who can't imagine being in that situation of having no food. What faith. What a challenge.

Its been a long time but I will update this again on a regular basis

2007-04-12T08:49:00.000+02:00

Dear All
I have been quite bad at keeping this up to date for which I apologise. I have now made blogger my home page which should remind me to actually add something to my blog.
What has happened since my last post:

I started my job at UCT. So far so good! Very busy
David is talking much more and has grown loads
We switched his nursery school to the UCT creche
My grandad is still having heart trouble.
We sold our house in the UK (big relief)
I moved office to a nice big one with lots of windows that I have all to myself
I am working off a new computer so I dont have any pics or anything yet.

Pics are coming, soon... just as soon as a I do some file transfers...

I guess thats a good start for now. I will add my random musings at a later stage. Thanks for your interest, your love and prayers.

LISTS

2006-07-13T13:24:00.000+02:00

Sick people in my family:
My grandad, in hospital with heart trouble
David, vomited this morning but probably nothing serious
Gareth, back ache and general pains

Things I am thankful for:
God
My family
My friends
Everyone who cares about me
A roof over my head
A job
My health being good
The naartje I just ate
The weight I've lost
The clothes I'm wearing
The future

Many questions, little answers yet but I am on track

2006-07-13T13:19:00.000+02:00

Here are my questions:
1. Are tongues speaking christians a)authentic, b)genuine but misguided c) psychologically conditioned d)demonised or e)all of the above(circumstance dependent) ? How can I test this in myself and others?
2. Did Jesus go to hades when he died? (today you will be with me in paradise to the thief, and the apostles creed which says he went to hades based on an interesting interpretation of 1Pet3)...What happens to us when we die? (e.g. are we asleep. conscious, disembodied...Lazarus and rich man parable etc)
3. How can I learn to pray? Is speaking God's word back to him in prayer a subtle attempt to manipulate him, like the 'name it and claim it' theology of the word of faith movement? How should we use the bible when we pray?
4. In church we are exhorted to live a victorious christian life? What is "victorious christian living"? How do we practically do this?
5. Should there be a place for tongues/prophecy/words of knowledge/prophetic prayer/interpretation/discernment in the corporate life of the church? How are they defined? What does the bible recommend for our corporate worship?

Answers on a postcard to... or you could just leave me a comment...

Sorry Sorry Sorry

2006-07-07T10:55:00.000+02:00

I can't believe I left this 4 months before updating it.
What's happened since then:

David has his 2nd birthday. He is doing well, chatting and doing all the things 2 yr olds do
I had my 5th wedding annisversay
I got a permanent job at UCT
I did lots of testing

I searched hard after God, and he found me again.. There is so much I could say but there isnt time right now, but I will soon.

Love to all of u and sorry again!!

What did you do with your weekend?

2006-02-27T09:15:00.000+02:00

This weekend I :

- went shopping for new clothes (3 trousers, 3 tops, 1 bra)
- got weighed
- did 17 blast tests
- went to church
- had a braai (Fri night)
- played table tennis
- cleaned the house
- killed some ants
- ate a pineapple
- went to bed with wet hair

David at work

2006-02-23T09:16:00.000+02:00

He here is doing a spot of gardening on the weekend! I am training him early.. He thinks it's a game (little does he know)

2006-02-23T09:12:00.000+02:00

A pic of David as promised, atken this morning so it's hot of the press (ok the digital camera)

Anyway as you can probably see he's grown tall and is a happy boy

Love to all

Power up!

2006-02-22T17:16:00.000+02:00

Hi all
Sorry I haven't left any blogs, we keep having power outages !!! The next one is expected any minute.. just to say we are ok, I'll leave a pic of David tomorrow hopefully if the internet and power are up.

Byee

Davids results

2006-02-16T16:37:00.000+02:00

David had a developmental check-up.... he's fine right on target!!
:-)
I'll get you a photo soon
He's doing well at nursery too. I gotmy first pic from him for valentines day. Its a big heart stuck on a sheet he's scribbled on
It's on the fridge :) :) I am a big softy really

I've been busy!

2006-02-08T08:55:00.000+02:00

Sorry guys I've been so busy with stuff I didn't realise how long it had been since I updated my blog!

News:

David started nursery school. He seems to enjoy it and his teacher thinks he's great
Gareth started volunteer work, which is starting to take shape.
I am mad busy at work writing reports which are due in SOON

The weather has been hot, except for today - it's cloudy today and looks like it might rain.
I hope for good weather at the weekend, as we are having a bbq on saturday!

Bye for now sorry it's short

We have not burnt to death

2006-01-27T08:38:00.000+02:00

The news is full of the fire on Table Mountain. To those worried in the UK, we are WELL AWAY from the affected area and are in no danger whatsoever from the fire.

It is alleged that the fire was started by a careless british tourist who ignored warnings and threw a lit cigarette butt out of his car window. At least one person has died as a result. He has been arrested and faces serious charges.

The bible says the tongue is like a fire, able to destroy quickly and carelessly. Should all watch what we say, lest we hurt someone in the process because we didn't think.

Still fighting the admin war. I should win today though!

the admin battle

2006-01-25T08:37:00.000+02:00

Today I am going to try and re-register as a postdoc on the university system. This should be a straightforward thing, you might think.. however this is UCT and as a postdoc nothing seems to be straightforward.
I have been advised tha there are at least 5 forms to fill in. Maybe more if you are not a simple case. I am probably not a simple case.

:(

I try not to do all my admin battles in one day.

I also have to go to HR soon

Back in Cape Town

2006-01-19T08:30:00.000+02:00

We have arrived safely in Cape Town! The weatheris very pleasant, much warmer than in the UK!

Still a bit tired but back to work...

my kingdom for an internet connection

2006-01-09T16:40:00.000+02:00

Liverpool university has a wireless network. When I logged in this morning from my desk I was in range, happily working away. This afternoon, at a critical time, I was out of range. I spent 15 mins walking around the building with my laptop trying to find somewhere that was in range. Eventually I found one place - one of the main lecture theatres! Just as well it's not term time, or the students would be joined by frsutrated visitors like me wandering hopelessly in search of the hotspot.
Is this the future of technology?
At least we'll all get some exercise.. In fact, maybe the government should make wireless internet compulsory...good for your heart...

back at work (obviously) for a few days before going back to Cape Town. Lots to do. I'm burning the candle at both ends and in the middle trying to decorate my house, see people and work.

:)
byeeee

The Friday Marathon Begins

2006-01-06T13:40:00.000+02:00

We are SOOO tired we can't get up in the morning. Tonight Gareth is staying up part of the night to wallpaper the middle room. I am planning to paint but David is in the way at the moment! Happy Days! Lots to do in the next 24 hrs.

God showed up

2006-01-01T23:03:00.000+02:00

I went to church
God turned up. He was there as I sang the songs and touched my heart. I heard only the 1 bible verse of the sermon but it was enough to give me some hope and comfort for the new year.
Thanks God

New Yr? How did u spend urs?

2006-01-01T12:33:00.000+02:00

I spent mine cleaning the sink in the kitchen. I wasn't in much mood for celebrations. I was feeling quite down about 2005, well mostly about my Mum. Hard to believe she's really gone but occasionally it hits me and I understand she won't be there in 2006. Well, she's in heaven with Jesus but you know what I mean.

I feel a bit better now. I think I was tired last night. I can't decide about going to church this morning. I find it hard to go with David as I spend my whole time looking after him and no time on God. Makes me wonder, what's the point in going? Well today I will go anyway and see...

My foot hurts

2005-12-29T23:20:00.000+02:00

Somehow, yesterday, I managed to get a sewing needle stuck in the side of my foot. Not the bottom, as you would expect given the needle was on the floor.. but in the side! It went in about a centimetre and now it hurts. I pullsed it out, it didn't bleed. Today it started to huert as I got up and down, putting pressure on it.
Nice moan, all done now. :-)

Now we are getting the damp coursing in our house done. Everything is all over the place. What a mess. 3 more bags for the tip and five for the charity shop.

11 bin bags

2005-12-29T01:18:00.000+02:00

11 bin bags and counting.. thats how much rubbish I have cleared from my house in the past three days (not a normal amount). I am being (fairly) ruthless in what we are thrwoing away. There are four bin bags of clothes that don't fit any of us too. That's a total of 15. 15! I haven't finished yet, I am still tackling the cupboard under the stairs. And then there are the boxes in our room... the list is still endless.

I hope we can get through it all before we go back, there is still so much left to do.

The task begins

2005-12-28T01:39:00.000+02:00

We are faced with the enormous task of sorting out our house in the UK. Thankfully, Paula and Craig have offered their help to sort out some of the structural problems and fit doors, finish ceilings etc (Craig is a joiner). We still have so much stuff to work out how to get back to Cape Town, or find homes for..

The enormity of the task amazes me. I hope we can get it done!

I'm tired

2005-12-25T01:26:00.000+02:00

It's about to turn into christmas day (it's 11.26 pm here) and I'm tired. David has just stopped crying and has hopefully gone to sleep but I need to leave it a few mins before going up so I don't wake him. It's foggy outside, I could hardly see the traffic lights down the street as I drove home for my in-laws. I took some criticism (fairly light hearted) for not letting David have sweets or ice cream. After all, it's christmas. What he doesn't know about can't hurt him.

I think I'm doing the right thing. The health professionals and nutrition people I know all think I am, but as a new parent I can only guess at what seems like a good idea to me. It almost seems wrong to fly in the face of the conventional wisdom that my parents generation (and older) applied to us kids. After all, we never died and turned out ok ! And my mum was right about feeding David a little bit of water, it would have made life easier later on. I suppose I have to be true to myself, whatever that fasionable buzz-word expression means.

Talking of true to myself, maybe you've heard but it's christmas. We celebrate God being born with my limitations on this day every year. Well at least I like to think I do, most people celebrate over-eating, over drinking and over spending.. I am more than a little irritated with Santa Claus. There won't be any Father Christmas in my house, no cookies left for him and no carrot for rudolph. No dreaming of a white christmas (do you know how many extra road traffic accidents there are in the snow? and there's no time on christmas day to even build a snowman.. no give me snow a couple of days later if at all..) Because of the rush I haven't even erected a tree. Poor show. I have bought a few gifts for people though, but probably not all the people I ought to buy for.

But God was born. He had common peasants as his guardians, with a rough accent that distinguished them as being from a poor little town were nothing good ever happened. He lived as a carpenter, an honest living but rough on the hands. His earthly father is suspected of dying young, and God would have grieved for him. God lived a life like mine, suffered pain, only it wasn't like mine because he lived his perfectly and I never do. He suffered more pain than I ever have or will, even if my life is a wretched tunnel of torturous drudgery and pain from now on. Thats pretty miserable really, you wonder why we would celebrate that.

How bad does a stable smell? God would know, it was his first smell out of the womb.

I celebrate christmas because God being born meant he also died and he then rose again t life. And because of his love and sacrifice I too can have a life that is more than drudging an existence, running from one christmas decoration and No 1 to the next without ever really being alive in my spirit, feeling my heart on fire with God. And I know that one day I will be with God in heaven and have a great party.

Happy christmas. Mine is sadder this year, probably why I'm so thoughtful. My mum is not here this year and I miss her. So does dad, I see it. Busyness can be great distraction, but in the middle of the night it's not much comfort when the void is felt. God's presence comforts me, and the knowledge that she is safe in heaven helps a bit too. I still wish she were here.

Good night

Christmas Eve

2005-12-24T10:09:00.000+02:00

I am officially fed up of Christmas. Bah Humbug!

There is so much of 'it' on the TV, radio, shops, cards, parties at work etc etc etc. I have seen one christmas card with an actual christmas nativity scene. Every other has robins, santas, snowmen, reindeer, penguins, holly, etc on the front. Not that mine are any better - I had a snowman on mine because I couldn't SEE any proper cards in the shop. I have written 10 so far. I need to get four more. :-(

We all waste tonnes of money on gifts for each other that NOBODY wants. Sometimes we strike it lucky and buy something that someone wants, or at least pretends to want... but more often we have to ASK them and buy what they tell us. Where's the surprise in that? And who's birthday is it supposed to be anyway?

It's too predictable to go on about how commercialised christmas is, so I'll stop. But it IS!!!

And now I might even have 5 minutes to think about what's really going on and what it should all be about. I hope God won't mind, it's the first five minutes I appear to have had.

What do you have in your pockets?

2005-12-21T13:55:00.000+02:00

I have:

7.80 GBP in change
a mobile phone ( a new nokia with a camera)
a bunch of keys
a ticket from the cinema (went to see Narnia last night, wasn't all that brilliant)
2 shop receipts
a wallet containing a ten pund note and two bank cards
a flashdisk/memory stick: 512 Mb

I hope yours are more interesting

I forgot my logbook

2005-12-21T13:36:00.000+02:00

I have travelled to the UK without my logbook to record my thoughts in as I read the bible so I have decided to put them online.

Today I read Isaiah 51.
v.1 "The Lord says, Listen to me, those of you who try to live right and follow the Lord"

OK: thats me (I am trying) so I should listen up to the next bit..

v.1b "Look at the rock from which you were cut; look at the stone from which you were dug"

This is on about looking at where you came from, your roots and past. This was talking to the Jews, and verse 2 goes on about Abraham and Sarah and blessings God gave to them. He fulfilled impossible promises for them. These people listening to this prophesy were in desparate times and would have needed a miracle to be saved and even survive! Here they are told to look at Gods work in the past and believe that he can act to save them, and that he will.

v.3 "he will show mercy to those who live in her ruins" (talking about the capital city of the Jes, which was wrecked..
These people had suffered devastation and needed God to restore them. Here God is promising to restore them and show them mercy. He also does this to us.

I have been through some personal devastation. Devastated when my mum died, when my son was very ill. The whole world is devastated in one way or another, through our personal tragedies, wasted lives, disappointments, broken relationships, illness, disaster, death. And our spiritual wasteland called our heart is a barren place.
God restores. He promises to restore us - and he does that through a relationship with him. My heart has in many ways been restored. I have a completeness I didn't have before, I have a light in dark times that I didn't have before. The darkness is still black like the night but there is a flicker in me that keeps me spurring on, hoping (not in the idle fashion) assured that a day of complete restoration will come - that I will see God return and restore his world and people.

Part of me fears the future, I think about the gloomy times of the past couple of years and wonder if things will get any better for my family. In my heart springs a hope and a peace that even if the days ahead are darker than I would like that the light in my heart will continue to shine. And it's when that light is dimmed that I truly feel devastated and lonely even when surrounded by people.

Thos reading my blog regularly will know that I have my battles with God and I wrestle with my faith sometimes. Even in those times I am utterly convinced by the reality and power of God, even if I struggle to understand what he does sometimes or why he allows certain things to happen.

v.5
"I will soon show you that I do what is right. I will soon save you."

That's his promise to me. I am already saved and he continues to save me from myself.

Square peg, round hole

2005-12-20T15:02:00.000+02:00

It's weird to come back to your old life, most things feel like they've been on hold for months, but you have changed and they are the same. Except there have been some changes, and few are for the better and they make you sad. This was a bad year for me and I can't change that. Coming back, although I love my family and friends, helps me see that I don't belong here any more. I am not sure if I am a visitor or a regular or even a scouser.

Maybe I will settle in after a while but I suspect not. And I am getting a cold. So is David

I bought some clothes today

2005-12-17T18:34:00.000+02:00

I bought some clothes today. I DISLIKE shopping but I am not in the UK for too long and David and I needed some clothes. I managed to buy three pairs of jeans - I have been able to buy TWO dress sizes down :-)
I remember that first time I fitted into this size - I was increasing in sixe though not decreaseing and I was truly GUTTED. This time around I am very pleased, since I am decrasing in size. My goal might just be attainable...I have to get thru christmas first...

Quick News

2005-12-15T17:49:00.000+02:00

I am now back in the UK for 4 weeks

I have lost a whole dress size on my diet so far. I am quite pleased with myself for sticking with it. For those who are oblivious to dress sizes, that is two inches (50 mm) around the waist/hip/etc..

:-)

Looking Up

2005-12-12T08:53:00.000+02:00

By looking out/up to God it takes the focus off me.
I can't see the shadows when I look at the light
I have re-entrusted the future, the past and the present to God

It is indeed a wise person who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
It is not fair. It is grace - God's gift that is not about merit but relationship.

I have been battling inside myself with a picture of me and one of God.
I am the worker in the vineyard who felt that I deserved more than the late workers, because somehow that was justice. However that identification revealed the state of my heart and my underlying presumption.

When I do something wrong and need forgiveness I want it, somehow I know I must confess and that forgiveness should be mine. Like some higher moral law within that understands something of Jesus death for me. I expect other people to do the same.

However, when I have to forgive, or God has to forgive others, I resort back to my native belief system, whereby merit counts, because I want them to look bad so I look better. I don't do this consciously but it is within my heart. There is always a scale and we want to be graded. We tend to accept there will always be someone better than we are, but as long as there are worse people (the more the better, and all based on our judgement where we justify our own "sins") thats OKAY with us.
I am like Lisa Simpson who went to her teachers (who were on strike) with a desparate plea "grade me, grade me". She needed approval, a grade to feel worth something. What's your grade? Are you A-okay, everything is fine, no problems, relatively successful (and how do you judge that)... Are you a C-minus, just scraping by with a passing score, not too good or bad... Are you and E or F, failing miserably but hoping somehow that will be overlooked because there's a G-grade persn in the queue behind you and you mightn't look so bad.

And who decides your grade anyway? You? Me?

Nah, forget there is no grading system. We all got one grade - FAIL. Nothing we can do about it, God set the test and we all fail. Even if we never did anything wrong again, we still fail because by nature we grade each other, ignore God, do our own thing, thing badly about others to make ourselves feel better, and want our own way and not Gods.
We don't even know what's good for us. Our lives of self indulgent behaviour (from hedonism to depression and back again) our statements of self-worship that leave us feeling hollow and needing something more, someone more perhaps? We want to change our appearance, be more desirable so that we become better people. Whether its a new haircut, a nose ring, plastic surgery, botox, a diet... we all want to feel better about ourselves.
It's a universal problem. One that only God is able to beat for us, because despite our failing grade he gives us a way to graduate from life. Not a grade, or exam cheat but a relationship with his son that will change your life. He changed mine and continues to change mine. It is expensive- you have to give everything to him and that gets hard especially when he's given you a lot. But it's not yours anyway, when you die you can't take it with you, even before that point you could lose it in a hurricane, fire, accident or divorce. It takes one moment to be diagnosed with inurable cancer, or slip and fall and break your spine... and then what's your lifw worth?

Wow thats a lot of heavy ranting for a Monday morning! Chill out hey? I can't it's all on my heart... try and look up beyond the water you're drowning in, God can save you if only you let him.

Doh!

2005-12-07T16:24:00.000+02:00

Doh doh doh doh doh!!

And more Doh!

Sorry just needed to say it

Doh!

Better now ;-)

Shy or outgoing?

2005-12-05T08:33:00.000+02:00

Recent email went round my friends and this was a question asked of them. They were divided in their response (as they were to the question rebel or rule follower). I know why too. It depends on the situation:

1. On the stage. Outgoing
2. before/after church sevice. SHY
3. in small groups. Outgoing
4. Sunday school. outgoing
5. Family (immediate). Outgoing
6. In-laws (immediate) Outgoing
7. In laws, extended. Shy
8. Family, extended. Shy
9. Parties. Shy
10. 1 to 1. Outgoing
11. in the staff room at work usually shy
12. restaurant. Small number - outgoing. Large number - shy
13. Weddings. SHY

Almost 50/50 split. No wonder you guys are confused. So am I

All quiet on the blogger front

2005-12-05T08:18:00.000+02:00

Last week was a hectic week at work, and a new one begins today. A new week that is. There is a lot to do but it shouldn't be too hectic for once. Famous last words!

I am in a turbulent time with God. It seems my first love has waned and I want it to wax. I am not sure that I can cope with the pain that may come my way through that process. God has been showing me some of the darker internal workings of my heart and I feel like I am mourning for them at the moment. That sounds weird doesn't it? It is I suppose. This is a weird time for me. I seem to be two people. I am crying for my sinful heart in church, then running away and not talking to anyone because I feel an overwhelming shyness at the end of the service. Then when I do read (which is not as often as I should) or pray (which is also rarer than it should be) I feel challenged - reading stuff on the parables at the moment. I feel challenged by the rich young ruler and the workers in the vineyard and the prodigal son (and brother) but not exactly sure what God is saying. I know he's saying something but it's like I'm slightly out of focus and it's driving me crazy. And I can't seem to talk about this with anyone without clamming up.

Maybe thats why I've really been quiet on the blogger front.

Oh, God did tell me a couple of weeks ago not to worry about money. I wasn't worried about it before. I am now. It's like I'm flying in the face of what he says at an inner level I am struggling in a battle with. God help me cos I can't help myself.

Bored day

2005-11-30T15:57:00.000+02:00

I am having a bored day at work. I am reading a lot of new papers for a literature review in a paper that I need to write. It's not that the papers aren't interesting (some of them are) it's just that I have so many of them to read :(

Anyway enough complaining, back to the grindstone

I am already a member of WAYN

2005-11-29T09:24:00.000+02:00

To All those who keep sending me invites to join WAYN - I subscribed before all of you!!!!

Friday again

2005-11-25T11:00:00.000+02:00

Where do my weeks go? I have spent most of this week trying to sort out ordering som e materials, but I keep running into problems.

Anyway, here is a pic of David to cheers us all up

It's so quiet in here

2005-11-21T08:46:00.000+02:00

You know it's quiet in your office when:

- the only thing you can hear is the air con
- you can detect small changes in fan speed from your CPU
- you hear a pin drop on the other side of campus and think it was a nuclear explosion.

OK, that last one was a BIT of an exaggeration but it is fairly quiet. The PC on the other side of my office sounds INCREDIBLY loud today. My boss is overseas and just about everyone else is on a field trip. In theory I should get lots of work done..... let you know at the end of the week how that goes!

I went bowling yesterday. I scored 72 in the first game and 79 in the second. BTW, thats a decent score for me. The guy who won managed to get almost twive as many in each game, but never mind.

Good news on David

2005-11-16T14:39:00.000+02:00

We went to hospital today and the neurology department DISCHARGED him :)

He still goes for developmental checks but no more neuro wards :)

Celebrating tonight!!!!

been busy

2005-11-14T09:40:00.000+02:00

My Dad is here and we've been busy so sorry for the relatively long length of time between blogs.

What have I been doing?
- we went to see lions and stayed overnight.
- we went to the beach but it was too windy for david, sand got in his eyes
- we went to the waterfront
- dad went to the aquarium while I worked
- we went to Spier, a wine farm with Cheetahs and a restaurant
- we went on some coastal scenic drives
- he went shopping, lots and lots of shopping
- I saw a film called "the man" very VERY funy
- we went up signal hill

Erm lots of other things have escaped my memory. My dad got extensions out in the back of his head.. See pic..

I think he's having a good time. The lions were amazing.. their roar was so loud and felt like it was coming from everywhere

Cape Town weather

2005-11-02T09:03:00.001+02:00

This place is full of surprises

The weather is, well, terrible!! It's raining ! It's windy!

Is my Dad sending the UK weather ahead of him? (BTW he flies out tomorrow)

I hope it improves, he's hoping for a sun tan!

Oh well...

happy birthday Dad

2005-11-02T09:03:00.000+02:00

Happy birthday Dad!

Congratulations on your 50th

What a momentous day! I hope you enjoy it all...!!!

What are you listening to?

2005-11-01T16:33:00.000+02:00

Right now I am listening to my office mate playing homer simpson very loudly, singing about his first beer. Sweet, very conducive to working so I thought I'd update my blog.

Erm, whats new?
Well my dad arrives on Thursday night, I am looking forward to seeing him so that should be good.
We bought a dishwasher, Gareth is fitting it now
I tried tidying up, limited succes due to the young man in my life :)

Thats it, exciting huh?

Tomorrow I go to Stellenbosch for work, I have a presentaton to give. It's my dads birthday tomorrow too - he turns 50!!

Yesterday we had a discussion in cell group about whether we can stop sinning here on earth, now. I said it is possible, Romans 6 says count yourself dead to sin which means we mustn't allow ourselves to accept the idea that we will inevitably fail. Thats why God has freed us. However, at the same time we now have a choice. I didn't mean we are perfect but we don;t have to accept the inevitability of sin.

I was shouted down a bit by another member of the group. I understand that it doesn't measure up with our experience most of the time, but victorious living is possible.!!!

Erm thats it. really thats all I can think of. What have I been doing? who knows?

Ways to drink more water

2005-10-27T09:07:00.000+02:00

Water is very good for you. It is fat free, sugar free and calorie free. And has beneficial effects for your digestive system, skin and general health... but it's not easy to drink, we keep wanting to add things to it..

Here are some top tips:

- Drink it QUICKLY - don't give yourself time to dislike it

- Don't sip it! Who wants to actually taste the water??

- If you get bottled water, choose it carefully! They don't all taste the same!

- Have it cold or hot. Luke warm water tastes worse.

- Drink it from a glass or from pottery/porcelein etc - NEVER plastic. It tastes much worse in a plastic container.. I don't know why it just does.. Maybe its something to do with chemistry (any chemistry boffs reading this and would like to leave a comment, please do)

- Make a conscious effort to drink 3-4 pints (1.5 to 2 litres) a day. Have it with food, it seems to go down better.

- If you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HATE, LOATHE AND DESPISE drinking water then add a TINY bit of cordial to it to take the edge off. A TINY BIT, not a lot..

- If you have a caffeinated drink you have do drink even more water than this..... so think about that before you have that cup of coffee... or coke...

Long time no blog!

2005-10-27T09:03:00.000+02:00

Hi guys

I've been away on business the past few days, so no updates to my blog recently. I went to Pretoria to talk about some research with some of our funders. Interesting.. but thats all I'll say for now!

Back to the office today, I missed Gareth and David a lot. They both seemed very happy to have me back, so thats a good thing. Lots of work to do (as always!) and much to get on with. Erm, not much else to update you with. My weekend was good... erms no very boring person this week! Hopefully I'll have more interesting news soon

Happy Birthday to me

2005-10-20T15:40:00.000+02:00

Happy bday to me
Happy bday to me
Happy bday dear meeeeee
Happy bday to me!
Hurrah!

3 cheers for me!

It's a nice sunny day. Birthdays in Liverpool were never sunny for me, it was either cloudy and cold or cloudy and wet. :-)

end of the day...

2005-10-19T17:19:00.000+02:00

Another day done! Going home soon. When I come to work tomorrow I will be a whole year older!! Weird huh?

I still don't know how I am going to celebrate my birthday. I am bringing in cake tomorrow but apart from that I know of nothing else thats arranged. Never mind.

Not much to say today. I just want to go home and have a bath and make trifle for tomorrow. Should be good. Will I break my diet? 64,000 dollar question.. I haven't decided yet! I think I am going to have to break it one sunday so maybe not.

Oh yes, I am going to someone's house for lunch on sunday. It's her daughters bday tomorrow too but she's away so I am being adopted ;-)

Sweet huh?

I only woke up twice last night

2005-10-18T08:25:00.000+02:00

I remember feeling hot and I think I went back to sleep straight away..
The 2nd time it was 530am and the guy across the road was moving the fours cars from his path (his daughters all park cloer to the road up the driveway than he does, so every day he goes to work at 530 am he puts all their cars out onto the road and then drives away). Park the other way round! they are all behind locked gates anyway!!!! Still he's a nice guy.

Cell group was ok, although a few were missing due to family and sports commitments and those that were there seemed tired. Some are in the middle of exams and tough times at home. We looked at the life of Abraham as an example of God counting someone righteous because he believed what God sai to him. Not because he was a jew (he wasn't, actually, and he wasn't circumcised til after God counted him righteous) or because he was a great guy (after all, he was always passing his wife of as his sister cos she was pretty so he could get favours, lying, twofaced little.. ;-) )
Anyway, the point was we are like Abraham - we are not perfect (far from it), we don't keep all the commands and in fact we are mostly pretty lousy especially at loving God. The law, 10 commandments, etc are like a mirror or a scale which shows us how far short of Gods perfection we come. And its a LONG way, I don't care how good you are. If you have ever thought a superior thought about yourself, judged anyone in your heart, told a lie, wished someone dead/harm, failed to do a good thing when you knew it needed doing, not kept your word or were ungratfeul then you fall short. Thats without murdering anyone, stealing etc... In fact none of us truly love God with ALL our heart and even if we were perfect in every other way that would be enough to miss the mark.
But just like Abraham, God takes our small attempts to believe what he says, our faith and credits our account with righteousness. All because Jesus cancels out our sin. If we trust him with our life then our account shows a + sign. That simple. Yes it is.

Anyway this wasn't meant to be a sermon, but sometimes it helps to clarify my thoughts by writing them down.

Best get down and do some work. I have a journal paper to write and some tests to plan. I have a visitor coming tomorrow and I am going to be in meetings with him most of the afternoon (wed) and probably Thursday morning too. Thursday is my birthday, I have to remember to bring cake. I will be 28. When I was 14 I didn't think I would even live to be 16 - that seemed so old, now I am going to be twice that age in 2 days.

23 deg C. The temp of my office

2005-10-17T14:52:00.000+02:00

We have an ongoing battle over the temperature of the office, which I inevitably win. Ilike the aircon at 23 deg C. A pleasant temp, proven to make office workers more productive and allows me to wear Tshirts to work (helpful given the summery hot outside temperatures).
My office buddy, who has a cold seems to want the temp lower. Why? So he can sit in the office with his hanky wearing a fleecy top. Makes no sense. No wonder he is ill. Maybe it's the sickness making him crazy.

Anyway, we think we have settled on a nursery choice for David. I went to see it on Friday afternoon. It's called Eastry Pre-School www.eastry.com for those of you who would like to check it out. He will be going there for mornings from February 2006.

Tonight we have cell group at our house again. If you don't know what that is, it's when a group of friends get together, read a passage from the bible and discuss what it means for us in our lives. This week its Romans 4, which is all about having faith and faith in God being what saves us since the law can't do that. The law only shows us how bad we are, which doesn't help us unless it prompts us to turn to God for an answer to our deadly serious condition.

Boss has arrived! Gotta dash ;-)

My first diet

2005-10-13T09:53:00.000+02:00

Hi everyone,

I have been on my first ever diet for 3 weeks. Previously I have never bothered because I didn't think I had the discipline to keep it up and I also knew I would be disappointed if I didn't lose weight. I reached desparation though as I really wanted to buy nice clothes that fitted, and being a good engineer I extrapolated my weight gain trend forward and got a fright.

My new diet means I can't eat anything that does not occur naturally e.g. if God didn't make it, don't eat it. I can't have processed sugar, flour, cornstarch, popcorn, cornflakes, pasta, fizzy drinks etc. I can have meat, potatoes, veggies, milk, eggs (if i ate them!, brown rice, butter..etc. It work son the theory that are bodies were not designed to eat such highly processed foods and since they add no nutritional value why eat them? They just make us fat because our bodies puts the calories straight onto our hips/tummy etc. According to the book I read, we also get addicted to the flour and sugar and will go through withdrawl when we go without them (a godd reason to quit, I shouldn't let food rule my life!)

It also recommends 8-10 glasses of water a day, which effectively means I drink little else (the occasional glass of fruit juice). I don't have to weight my portions or count calories. I can eat steak with a jacket potato and butter wihtout feeling guilty. In that respect, it's realistic.
NB: cheating is not allowed. When I cheat, I will overnight gain 2-3 lb in weight because the sugar also causes my body to retain water... this would depress me so I try not to cheat at all. but my birthday is coming up so I might cheat on my birthday.. a little..

Progress:
I thought I would miss the sweet things most but I don't - I crave the bread and toast I am not allowed to eat.. I desparately wanted cheese toasted sandwiches for 2 weeks. However I wanted to be healthy more... so I resisted..

Drinking the water is a conscious effort. I sometimes forget to drink enough. Funnily enough I don't wee that much more but my stools are looser (eeeh, enough of that)

I also took up more exercise. We invested in a table tennis table and try to play each day.

And... I believe I am losing weight! I didn't weigh myself but I did look at my waistline measurement. I won't reveal what it was (too depressing) but I have lost an inch off it so far.. and I feel better. I got Gareth to have a look (objective assessment) and he says I have lost some off my tummy and also off my thighs. :-) I hope it continues..

I took me a long time before I got to this point of facing my weight/food issue but I think I am getting there. Thank God.. I know I couldn't do it alone

To steal an idea from a friend. Last week I:

2005-10-10T10:09:00.000+02:00

Played a lot of table tennis
Felt self conscious when getting coaching on my serve from a friend. Everyone was watching me and I buckled under pressure
Played with David and we had a laugh
went to work
blew up some composite structures
tried to decide when my trip to the UK in 2006 would be
had a free (work) lunch by the harbour in Simonstown
Worked when it was sunny
Had a picnic when it wasn't sunny :-(
Watched my boy walk 6 steps to me
Cried
Laughed
Worried about my Dad
Went to church twice on a Sunday (big deal for me, David has to go twice too)
Accidentally said a slightly bad word
Forgot to do some things Gareth asked me to do
Got annoyed at Gareth when he didn't do much at home
Had a sleepless night
Cleaned up poo
Resisted eating chocolate cake despite several opportunities
Stuck to my diet (just)
Wrote half a journal paper
Met two new people (Sean and Michelle)
Lost a card game... ok though no bets!
Invited a non-C friend to a church youth thing and he came
Cringed through it because it was so cheesy and wished I hadn't bothered
Read Romans 3 and Philippians
Scratched at all the spots/bites whatever I keep getting at the moment.. I hope it's not a flea! I don't know how to get rid of fleas

Hi from home!

2005-10-10T09:50:00.000+02:00

Daddy and David say hi!

Gareth has since shaped his facial hair into a goatee.. I'll try and get a pic for u.. Sorry to Margeret but he likes it!

Monday and I am TIRED

2005-10-10T09:43:00.000+02:00

Good Morning

David kept me awake from 2.30am for about 4 hours so I am dead tired today. Of course when I left the house this morning he was still sleeping, lucky boy.. I am just starting to wake up a bit now but I haven't managed to do anything meaningful yet. Hopefully I will get some work done today! My office-mates PC power supply has just died, so I have a box of wires in front of me. Like a good engineer he is going to fix it using only a screw driver :-)

Now he's on the floor searching for the screws he just lost.. I hope he can find a spare supply or he'll be moaning all day ;-)

Best go try and do some work

3 more weeks!

2005-10-09T15:18:00.000+02:00

3 more weeks until the undergraduate students hand in their projects.. that means no more last minure rush-testing on a weekend.. No more interruptions to my sunday afternoons when I should be outside in the beautiful sunshine. ;-) Never mind... it could be worse, it could be winter!!

I hope you are all keeping well, David is walking about more often now and chattering away in some indicherpable language I don't understand.. keeps him amused though.

In 3 more weeks my dad comes to visit too!

Not one for the faint hearted (Poo Tale)

2005-10-07T08:47:00.000+02:00

Today we play catch up at work; the boss is back from three days away and I have a lot of correspondance to bring him up to date on at some point during the day. Then we have lunch with the Navy and work in the afternoon.

I got an email from Barry today, his daughter is looking much bigger now, she will be enormous when I get back to the UK in December!

It seems the bug that Gareth and David have had has wiped out half of the Western Cape. David exploded last night (OK he pooed a lot). Gareth went out to band practice and I was looking after David. I started to feed him (home made beef stew) when he started farting..at least I hoped he was farting.. turns out not to be the case. He started grimacing so I thought "oh dear, best get him out of the high chair and change him ASAP" I picked him up and glanced back at the chair.... I could see a rather large deposit of pale yellow/green creamy poo! Yikes! How much is left in the nappy... So as I am holding the baby at half-an-arms length with both hands trying not to get by new trousers covered in poo, the phones rings !!!! Eventually get to it, David in one hand, phone in the other - wrong number!!!!

Anyway, got David down on the mat, changed his nappy, thought "best take off his clothes in case the poo got anywhere else" - sure enough right up his back to his shoulders!! ? How does it defy gravity like that? It always amazes me. Took quite a while to sort him out.

We are struggling to find somewhere with a free place for nursery for David. Gareth checked one out yesterday which he thought was brilliant but they are fully booked til 2007. :-(
Hopefully not all the good ones will be gone...

Almost ready to go..

2005-10-06T16:11:00.000+02:00

1 hr before Gareth picks me up from work. I still have photos to take and lots to talk to my boss about tomorrow. Should be interesting, I get a free lunch in Simonstown - nothings ever free I'm sure it will involve a lot of work afterwards.. We are going to be doing some very large scale tests hush hush.. well actually I don't think I'll be there but I am involved in the work in some way...
Why am I even telling you this rubbish?

Gareth is at band practice tonight so it's just me and David. I am looking forward to tomorrow.

Byeee for now

Daycare Dilemma

2005-10-06T09:27:00.000+02:00

Today is a bright summery day in Cape Town, the way I remember past visits here in the month of October. Gareth has dropped me at work after his trip to the chiro (he's doing much better) and him and David have gone out for the day.. lucky them... hopefully they will take some nice photos (Davids a keen photographer ;-))

We are looking into putting David into a playgroup early next year when we return from our trip back to the UK. Gareth wants to do some volunteer work in the church (they need their sound system pulling out and starting again!) and I think the break would do him good. I also think David might benefit from interaction with other toddlers although I am a little hesitant to leave him in daycare as I never went to one. What do you think? I want to do what's best for David...

David's EEG Results

2005-10-05T12:19:00.000+02:00

The Dr emailed me - Davids EEG was completely normal. Thank God for many answered prayers!! Now we watch, wait and pray for his development.... :-)

Sunday Roast

2005-10-05T08:54:00.000+02:00

This is David eating his roast dinner at the weekend. He has turkey, roast potatoes and peas. As you can see he enjoys playing with possibly more than eating it..

Still no word on his test results from the EEG. When I get them, I will let you know

Turning a corner

2005-10-05T08:41:00.000+02:00

It looks like Gareth and David have both turned a corner - both are eating normally again and have stopped the V+D. Hurrah! Gareth went to see the chiro yesterday and she was able to get him some relief for his back. He goes back tomorrow. He has exercises to do and I just hope he will keep them up as it's the only way to see long term improvement..

I am still tired though, I need to catch up on my sleep somehow but David is a chirpy little thing at 630am each day whereas my brain doesn't switch into action mode until 730am. Now I know why my mum used to go to bed so early... The joys of being a mum!

Today I am writing a journal paper and examining/photographing the cross-sections of the panels I blew up over the weekend. I am collaborating with people and the University of Liverpool and I am hopeful they will have some useful input to give me soon. I know very little about the material we have used as a composite. My student is testing this weekend - which is a problem for me as I was hoping to go on a picnic... October is a bad month for weekends here as it's close to the undergrad deadline and everyone has testing to do. :-( Still there has to be a downside to every job, right? :-)

I really hope you guys read these posts because it is the best way for me to update you on how we are... I seem to be better at updating this than sending out emails.. Now if I could just figure out how to put pics on here..

Work calls (can't you here it too??)

Is it really morning?

2005-10-04T08:45:00.000+02:00

Good morning Vietnam, South Africa or wherever you are reading this..

David vomited last night (I guess it's only a matter of time before I fall prey to the dreaded stomach bug doing the rounds) at supper time. All over Gareth and the chair. Gareth panicked and had to go and have a three hour shower (ok, maybe it was only 15 minutes..) whilst the cell group looked on at the chair and went green with the smell (no parents among them)..

Every door and window open, the chair went outside and David got cleaned up and went to bed.. So I was the only one left smelling like vomit but didn't realise this for another 20 minutes...

He slept fine until 2.30am when I heard the crying.... It started off as the whiny cry. I got him some water thinking "maybe " he is dehrdrated.. he drank about 15 mls but that wasn't it. He just wanted comfort and because he's sick and gave it to him. He ended up in my bed which meant no sleep for me until about 5am. Up at 730 and now I'm in work..

I left David sleeping of course...... :-)

On a positive note, I got to play table tennis and I am getting better (we bought a table about 2 weeks ago but I hadn't played in a week because Gareth did his back in).

Cell group bible study was also good. We are studying Romans and the moment, we are up to chpt 2. All about God judging without partiality. We all have a secret life and God sees that and will reward us accordingly.. If we spend it seeking him and doing his will he will reward us with immortality, honour and glory. The flipside is that if we don't, then we get what we deserve - a life apart from him which is exactly what we looked for in life. Only thing is, a life without God is a life without any of the good things he made, a life of despair and pain and trouble (sounds like hell? Well, it is..)

The other thing we talked about was whether people think and talk badly about God because of the example that christians and the church sets. There isn't much I can do about the church in most ways (e.g. the anglican church, the baptist church) but I can live in such a way that I don't cause people to look down on God. I want God to work in me though, otherwise it's just an external show that people can see through a mile away..

Another day of work calls... I have got plates to do a post-test analysis of. That means I cut them up and look at the insides and work out how they broke during the explosions..

Mondays!!

2005-10-03T15:26:00.000+02:00

Ever noticed that Mondays seem to last a long time? Longer than Wednesdays?
They say times flies when you are having fun.. well Sunday flew..

I am doing ok in work, got some results to process and some photos to take, hopefully all done in time for my big report at the end of the week.

Gareth is not vomiting now, but he has put his back out AGAIN. Oh dear :-(

I am ok though :-)

Gotta go, busy so maybe time will go quickly til tomorrow..

Now I get it

2005-09-30T13:34:00.000+02:00

After finally figuring out what went wrong before, I am ready to start telling my thoughts.

Gareth is pretty ill today. Yesterday he was in a bad state, vomiting and stuff through the evening. I worry he is becoming dehydrated and I didn't really want to go to work this morning. I have some important tests I have to finish over the weekend so I have to be here today, and I'll be home late tonight :-(

Still, I know he can always call me if he needs me, and he says he's feeling a bit better today. Hopefully he is on the road to recovery.

Davids tests went ok on Wednesday but we won't know the results for at least a week.. Long time.. but it will fly by I'm sure. He seems ok, standing up more often and taking some steps!

2005-09-30T11:58:00.000+02:00

Aha! And welcome to my blog.. It took me so long to set this up I have no time to write anything but I will write soon.. At work now...